Let's Review: Critiques 100-120

All right, another batch of twenty reviews is up, so you know what that means! Let's put them all in order and see which yaoi is on top - har har - this time around.

Junjou Karen - 34
Bitter-sweet Cafe - 32
Shibararetai - 32
Bakumatsu - 32
Uso to Kiss - 32
You're My Love Prize - 31.5
Seiryou's Scariest Tales - 31.5
Secret Agreement - 30.5
Kawaii Hito - 30
Nagaraja - 29
$10 - 27
Rules - 27
Anbalance Lover - 27
Groupie - 26
Competent Chairman - 26
Jazz - 26
Secrecy - 25
Night of Replicant - 24
Animal X - 24
Bath Towel - 23

Congratulations to 'Junjou Karen' for this time's top score! And my heartfelt consolations to 'Bath Towel', our esteemed loser.

Honorary Loss goes to 'Animal X' for what I can only call Most WTF Manga in the yaoi category. I will be having nightmares. Thanks a lot.

Review 120: Nagaraja

Art: 8
Plot: 8
Characters: 8
Sex: 5

Hmmm... no sex. Barely any kissing. I get the feeling that maybe this isn't a yaoi (no, really?)... But I'm going to review it anyway, as it was in the yaoi section of Spectrum Nexus. Despite the fact that Prince of Tennis is also in the yaoi section. Hn.

The fantasy-esque plot is kinda interesting, but not developed to its fullest. The characters are pretty nice but not above normal likability. There is no sex, so that gets the usual score for really, really bad sex.

29/40.

Recommendation: Fantasy shounen-ai lovers? Anyone?

Review 119: Anbalance Lover

Art: 7
Plot: 7
Characters: 7
Sex:6

Chapter One basically serves as a definition of 'reach-around'. That being said, the plot is mostly decent. The art is kinda lame... didn't like the hair at all. The characters don't entirely make sense (or have personalities... 'kay). The sex is laughable, but not in a way that you'd actually laugh. More like cry. Hmm.

'Anbalance' Lover is really supposed to romanize to 'Unbalanced Lovers'. In your face, Spectrum Nexus! Erm, just kidding... they're my only source of yaoi at the moment (more on that later). Love ya!

I know you wanna hear about the plot, but it's really just an group of smaller stories, all involving 'unbalanced love', which apparently is the politically correct term for 'rape' nowadays. Oh, yaoi, you do make me roll my eyes far too often. I may develop eye-strain.

27/40.

Recommendation: Not this time, folks.

Review 118: Junjou Karen

Art: 8.5
Plot: 8.5
Characters: 8.5
Sex: 8.5

Oooh... I really, really like the way the kid in the middle looks (in the manga, too, not just the cover). This one is an interesting trip concerning an uke caught in a guilt-relationship with a slightly abusive seme who makes him have emotionless sex to 'atone' for something he did in the past. The uke accepts this as what he deserves, but meanwhile falls for a student he's teaching at the nearby high-school. Said student is the initiator, thankfully, (?) but can such a pure-hearted love come to fruition for someone with such a dark past - and a vindictive lover?

Plot is interesting enough. Characters are very likeably, especially Shirasaka (the teacher/uke). The sex between the stone-cold seme and the guilty uke is as uninteresting as it's supposed to be, while the sex between the student and uke is much more satisfactory.

34/40. Whoaz.

Recommendation: For those of you who like more drawn-out plots and built-up sexual tension. Mmmm.

Review 117: Rules

Art: 6
Plot: 6
Characters: 8
Sex: 6

This one's odd. The art style is different, and I don't like it very much. Pretty sketchy - literally. The plot is pretty random as well. It starts with a reversible (guy on left) who has given up on serious relationships due to being 'spectacularly dumped' by a guy he really liked. He's in the gay district when he sees a lost high-school kid about to be dragged off by an old pervert. With a feeling of duty, he rescues the kid - well, he's probably around 17 - and shows him to the train station. But the guy takes him somewhere and they have sex. What? Then he never sees the guy again, and you find out from the guy's perspective that he only wanted to satisfy his curiosity for his male friend's body. 'Kay.

The characters are actually decent, which is wasted on this story. The sex, however, is brief and uninspiring, which suits the plot.

27/40. Ouch...

Recommendation: Nope!

Review 116: Uso to Kiss

Art: 8.5
Plot: 7.5
Characters: 8
Sex: 8

... What is with the fascination for incest, particularly half-incest stuff that makes you think, 'well, that's kinda creepy, but at least they're not directly related'!? I mean, do they have to be half-brothers? Why couldn't they have been stepbrothers, completely unrelated by blood? Even that's kinda weird, but I would have almost let it slide compared to this. I know judgment isn't something to be handed out so hastily, but... this kind of thing does make me uneasy.

The story seems pretty typical at first - guy meets uke working at a bar, they meet for drinks, get drunk and have sex at some point. The complication is when the older man - seme - finds out that the uke is his younger half-brother. Ashamed, he keeps this from the uke and pretends that they're not having sex anymore because he found out the uke is a minor (17 in Japan, which means pretty much 70% of the yaoi we're reading is... yeah). But how long can his charade go on without the uke finding out the awful truth?

Spoiler: (highlight to read) They actually aren't related by blood. Whoaz.

Sadly, both the characters and the sex are pretty good, making me feel even worse after I found out their 'relationship'. What a pity...

32/40.

Recommendation: If you're looking for something intriguing and aren't too squeamish.

Review 115: Bitter-sweet Cafe

Art: 8.5
Plot: 8
Characters: 8.5
Sex: 7

Hurrah, Akira Kanbe! This one contains one of my favorite quotes, which is, "But isn't cake the symbol of happiness?" Such wisdom in a yaoi... my, my. But, silliness aside, this is really a heartwarming read. The plot is pretty simple - boy meets boy, takes boy in, they work at a cafe together - but surprisingly effective with the use of such nice characterizations. The seme has a sad past (I guess I'll find out more when I read the prequel... oops), but he's really a good person who's just experienced tough times. The uke is pure-hearted but an awful cook, which would seem cliche but ends up being endearing in this case. Obviously the art is great.

As for the sex, it's just okay. I guess it makes sense with the characters, but it isn't particularly great.

32/40.

Recommendation: If you like a sweet uke and protector seme pairing.

Review 114: You're My Love Prize

Art: 8.5
Plot: 7.5
Characters: 8
Sex:7.5

Yay! Ayano Yamane! But I'm actually unsure about this one. The art, of course, is really nice. But the plot is pretty twisted (as is the sex, come to think of it). The characters are all right, but I'm not sure how to reconcile the very un-vanilla sex scenes. Don't get me wrong, if you're into that, then fine, but when it's one-sided, that's not okay. Granted, I give it an extra 0.5 points for at least explaining the uke's unintentional enjoyment with the aphrodisiac forced on him, but still (the whole 'aphrodisiac' thing ought to be on the cliche list... and for the record, there's only one true aphrodisiac that works on men, and it's called 'damiana'... some sort of herb or something).

All in all, 31.5/40.

Recommendation: For those of you who like action yaoi. Or some messed-up sex.

Review 113: Competent Chairman

Art: 7
Plot: 7
Characters: 6
Sex: 6

... All right. So I knew something was up when I saw that older guy on the cover, but I hoped, just once, that my instincts weren't right. They were. Apparently, the two lovers in this manga are aged around 20 and 50. Oh. My. Gawd. It seems just... wrong. I mean, we see celebrity matchups like this all the time, but we never see them all lovey-dovey or... having sex.

The art is all right. But... the guy who's supposed to be like 48 looks around 20 instead. Hmm. If you're going to take on something like lovers with 30 years between them, at least give it the respect it deserves. As Mr. Freeman would say, the best anime - and hence, manga - is made with sincerity. The way the art shrouds the truth makes me not take this seriously at all.

Plot is pretty lame, not a lot going on. It's basically a standard 'oh, I'm not worthy of you!' 'neither am I!' type deal. Except one of them is supposed to be way older.

Character-wise, the older man doesn't even have the maturity he ought to. This renders the whole idea of his age completely irrelevant. Baaaad character score.

I think I shouldn't have to mention the sex. Besides the fact that there's such a huge age difference, the older man is the uke and looks - and acts - like any 20-year-old uke would. There is no sign that anything is different from the usual yaoi. What a half-assed attempt at something 'forbidden'.

26/40.

Recommendation: Don't waste your time on this one.

Review 112: Seiryou's Scariest Tales

Art: 7
Plot: 8
Characters: 8.5
Sex: 8

This one revolves around a scary class president (guy on the left), who tends to sex up other students a lot. Even the teachers are scared of him - Hashizume - because he's so diabolically charismatic. That is, until one day when he meets his match with a transfer student who doesn't know his reputation. Said transfer student (guy on right) - Misonoi - demands an apology after Hashizume knocks him over. Hashizume, being the sly man that he is, suddenly has a change of heart and becomes very humble in front of Misonoi, shocking the other students. But it's really only a part of his plan to get into Misonoi's pants... Unfortunately, his plans backfire when the honest Misonoi believes all of the ridiculous lies Hashizume tells him.

Ahem. Art is a bit under-developed. Plot, as mentioned, it pretty interesting. Characters are actually very amusing, so extra points for creativity!

The sex is all right. Not bad, not great. Seen the 'school-tie as a restraint' thing far too many times, but I'll let it slide.

31.5/40.

Recommendation: Uh... if you like... scary class presidents?

Review 111: Shibararetai

Art: 8
Plot: 8
Characters: 8
Sex: 8

All right, this is another of those 'feudal Japan' settings. The first story concerns a wealthy young man who inherits the shop from his father, and the nearby doctor/teacher who he ends up involved with. The other stories are much the same pace, though different scenarios (some of them are even modern-day).

The art's always decent, the plots are generally okay, and the characters are likeable enough. The sex varies... some of it is really... er... odd. But it's still not outright rape (I suppose) so it should be all right. Sigh... what a world we live in.

32/40.

Recommendation: Feudal Japan lovers, rejoice~!

Review 110: Jazz

Art: 8
Plot: 6
Characters: 7
Sex: 5

Well, this one had me almost excited for a short time. It seemed to have some promise... started out with a doctor treating an asthma patient whose mother had been stifling him for years, aggravating his condition. But when said patient gets into a university, he takes the doctor out for dinner - weird - and then drugs his drink and rapes him afterward. So much for that.

Art is good, but obviously the plot sucks. Another rape cliche, sigh. The doctor's character makes sense, but the patient is just messed up. The 'sex' is awful as well, see above.

All in all, 26/40.

Recommendation: Nope.

Review 109: Bakumatsu

Art: 8
Plot: 8
Characters: 8
Sex: 8

Wow. Pretty decent scores across the board. This one is another samurai-era yaoi, though it strikes me as more of a shounen-ai since there isn't anything remotely graphic until the second volume. It's about First Captain Souji Okita (uke) and his idol, Toshi Hijikata (seme), who both live in the same dojo thing. Souji has admired Hijikata ever since he was a kid - guess there's quite the age difference - but now that he's an adult, he realizes that he has fallen in love with him. His annoying antics, however, combined with Hijikata's iron strong restraint, might mean that they'll never consummate their love...

Art is good, plot's fun, characters are pretty likeable, and the sex is fine as well.

32/40.

Recommendation: for those of you who like the samurai stuff.

Review 108: Secrecy Agreement

Art: 8
Plot: 7.5
Characters: 7
Sex: 8

This one is a nice departure from the past handful of terrible mangas. At least this one has an interesting plot... somewhat. Basically, the seme and uke have been together for some time, but the uke is an heir to a famous family and is getting married to bring his and another important family together.

The art is pretty nice. I like the uke's long, Edo-period hair. The plot is decent for the most part, though I admit to being a little confused at some points with the various timeline shenanigans... flashbacks, flashforwards, etc. The characters were disappointing, however.

The sex was all right, but not refreshing enough to give it extra points.

All in all, 30.5/40.

Recommendation: If you like long-haired ukes.

Review 107: Animal X

Art: 7
Plot: 5
Characters: 7
Sex: 5

All right, so this one is majorly sci-fi and revolves around a developing race of cannibalistic beings that appear human but can transform into... wait for it... DINOSAURS. I'm not talking about a cute apatosaur or something, they change into butt-ugly half-beast half-tyrannosaurus things. And eat people. Is this really a yaoi?

The art is bad, the plot is like a watery version of Jurassic Park mixed with some kind of black-and-white werewolf film, the characters are cardboard, and there's not actual sex. Which, at this point, I'm considering a blessing. I don't wanna see no dinos in my yaoi.

Plot: the soon-to-be uke is engaged to the woman he loves, but he's so girly that they don't seem to have a romantic relationship at all. Meanwhile, he's being paid to take pills that, unbeknownst to him, will eventually make him a woman. Due to this, one of the dinosaur-people thinks he's a woman and kidnaps him to be his mate and to 'breed' with. Stuff happens, dinosaur-people village gets razed to the ground by competing dinosaur-people, bla bla bla.

*cry*

24/40.

Recommendation: Don't ever mention this title to me again. I'm off to get some cookies before braving the next one.

Review 106: $10

Art: 8
Plot: 5
Characters: 7
Sex: 7

Lemme just say that I'm immediately suspicious of a yaoi called '$10'. I mean really. Well, my suspicions were correct... at least, in part. And this is, regrettably, yet another 'bad yaoi'. The art is all right, but the plot is a tangled mess of melodrama and duplicity. How very lame.

The plot follows these guys who have been best friends since they can remember. One is a responsible, mature guy, while the other cavorts with women carelessly and always makes the other guy talk to the girls for him and handle any problems. Living childishly like this, he just expects his friend to take care of all of his problems with nothing in return. The truly irritating part is when the supposedly responsible guy decides to lie to the careless guy and confirms that his girlfriend is pregnant. Mr. Careless says he'll give blowjobs to some guys to get money and deal with it, but Mr. Responsible isn't having that, and suddenly offers his friend money to sex him up. Wow... seriously? Then they both find out that they were deceiving each other in various ways. Messed-up.

The characters, if you can't tell by the plot, are pretty annoying. But... I can't help but think that they're somewhat deep if they evoke such an emotion. Some points given.

The sex is all right, I suppose. I was distracted by the awful plot at the time, and the money that was changing hands.

All in all, 27/30.

Recommendation: Not again...

Review 105: Secrecy

Art: 7
Plot: 6
Characters: 7
Sex: 5

It's when I've reviewed so many bad mangas in a row that I truly stop and think, 'is yaoi mostly crap?' Case in point, 'Secrecy'. I mean, wow, there's so little substance! The art isn't anything to get excited about, the 'sex' is never actually shown (there's a new one), and the plot and characters don't make up for these faults at all.

This one's about two guys who have a one-night stand, causing the younger one to seek out the older guy and shamelessly blackmail him into sex. This becomes a weird pseudo-relationship that... I need some milk and cookies. Anyway, the older guy is obsessed with his straight coworker who is getting married, so the younger guy is treated just like a side dish.

The seme - Mr. Older Guy - is awfully cold and a shallow character, too. The uke tries to make up for this by appearing to have some depth, but he's not all that interesting, either. Very fail with characterization, this one.

All in all, 25/40.

Recommendation: None~! Sigh.

Review 104: Groupie

Art: 8
Plot: 6
Characters: 6
Sex: 6

Hmm. Youka Nitta is highly disappointing this time around. The uke is a total slut... or at least, that's what I got out of it. He's some sort of 'groupie' who just... hangs around in very little clothing. It's not tasteful at all. Plus, there are two twin brothers who somehow end up sexing up the uke in a very awkward scene. Ew.

All in all, 26/40.

Recommendation: Bleh.

Review 103: Night of Replicant

Art: 7
Plot: 6
Character: 6
Sex: 5

This one is also awful. Art isn't that great, the plot is ridiculously bad (something along the lines of 'No Money' except with even less logic), and the characters have no depth at all. The sex consists only of rape, which goes on for pretty much the entire second chapter. Wow.

The plot, if anyone even cares, goes like this. This guy is at a wedding and the groom's little brother - 16 - walks up to him. This little brother reveals that he knows how the guy had a crush on the groom way back. And then he uses a combination of blackmail and force to take him to a hotel room and rape him. Of course, the guy could have easily fought him, but... nah.

All in all, 24/40.

Recommendation: Nope.

Review 102: Bath Towel

Art: 6
Plot: 6
Characters: 6
Sex: 5

I literally could not get through this. The art is bad, and the creepy guy with the black hair and glasses actually weirds me out and distracts from the story. Speaking of which, the 'story' doesn't make much sense, and when it does it becomes increasingly disturbing. The characters also don't make sense, and sometimes I'm not even sure who is who and where in the timeline it is. All in all, it's vaguely confusing and irritating to read. The sex is also creepy, especially when it gets interrupted...

23/40.

Recommendation: No. Just no.

Review 101: Kawaii Hito

Art: 7
Plot: 7
Character: 8
Sex: 8

This one's a toss-up. Art is sub-par, plot is basic and annoyingly full of the usual plot devices, and the seme is really a confusing character... but the uke is interestingly naive and yet more sensible than most. For instance, when confronted by a guy who wants to have sex with him, he actually hits the guy (pity none of the other ukes thought of that) and tells him 'no, you don't love me, you just wanna get into my pants!' Very admirable. The sex is decent, too.

But the way the seme doesn't seem to express himself - at all - makes for a difficult read, and the plot - what plot? - is awfully simple.

All in all, 30/40.

Recommendation: None.

Let's Review!

I'm finally to 100 reviews, so it's time to arrange the last twenty by score and see how everything ranks up. Who will be on top, and who will be on bottom? Only on a site like this would that mean so very much.

Successful Man - 33.5
Ijimetaihodo - 33
The Last Client - 32.5
Koi no Tsubo - 32.5
Private Magician - 32
Mugen no Roukaku - 31
Midare Somenishi - 31
Bi no Isu - 31
Pet On Duty - 31
Fake - 31
Fake II - 30
Take Me to Heaven - 30
Kimi ga Koi ni Oboreru - 29.5
Hidoi Otoko - 28.5
Rikara - 28
Access - 28
Brother - 27
Star ni Ai - 26
Sprout of Love - 25
Little Romance - 21

Congratulations to 'Successful Man' for winning this section! My most heartfelt consolations go out to 'Little Romance', with a baffling score of only 21.

Review 100: Bi no Isu

Art: 8
Plot: 8
Characters: 8
Sex: 7

I saw the title of this one and immediately thought, 'Hey, another one about a chair!' No. Not really. The translation is actually 'Coercion Chair', and it's a yakuza yaoi. Again. Only this one is... dare I say it?... good. Wow.

The art is decent, and even though the seme has some semblance of a beard, I'll let that slide. They're all drawn pretty well, anyway.

Pretty predictable plot, but it's yakuza stuff so it's all right. People shooting people, who in turn shoot other people... you know, the usual. Rescue-by-uke is especially fun.

The characters are good, but I can't identify with either of them. The seme has trust issues, which makes sense because when you're high up in the yakuza you trust no one. The uke, on the other hand, has completely let go of any fear in order to follow the seme wherever he goes, take a bullet for him, and whatnot (thankfully, he does not take a bullet for him... that would be far too melodramatic).

The sex is all right. It's pretty S&M influenced, if you ask me. Meh. I suppose they have an excuse, as they ARE staying at a sex hotel. I think. I might have missed that memo.

All in all, 31/40.

Recommendation: Yakuza enthusiasts, bon voyage!

Review 99: Private Magician

Art: 7
Plot: 8
Characters: 8.5
Sex: 8.5

I've read this one before, and while it's kinda fun, it's also... lacking. In many areas. For instance, the art could be waaaay better. The seme isn't even that appealing most times, which has to be
some sort of law. However... there are some highlights.

The plot is okay. I mean, the whole genie-in-a-bottle thing is done pretty often in yaoi, albeit in slightly different forms, but this one works out because of the characters.

The characters are really amusing, and a lot more developed than most. The uke isn't some virgin maiden, he's just been dumped by his boyfriend and is bitter and hilariously caustic. The seme - Mr. Genie - is an eccentric guy, and often he lacks 'the moves'. This makes for a great time when the uke calls him out on his lame flirtations.

The sex is refreshing, as it's not 'complete' sex in the first volume. And no one confesses their undying love first, which eliminates at least three cliches from happening. Also, this part is drawn quite nicely, which makes for some steamy panels. Hurrah!

All in all, 32/40.

Recommendation: If you're fascinated with the 'genie' plot device.

Review 98: Kimi ga Koi ni Oboreru

Art: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 8.5
Sex: 6

Art's decent. The uke and seme both look satisfactory, though the side characters aren't even drawn with as much detail.

The plot's actually kinda interesting, but only due to the characters. The seme has been working at a large store for quite some time, but when his boss retires, the head of company's son is placed as manager. Since he has no experience, this is nepotism, and the hardworking seme immediately dislikes the uke. But as the seme helps the uke learn how to be tactful with customers, he realizes that the uke always bluntly says what he shouldn't, and he suddenly wants to help him... but there's complications, of course.

I really liked how the uke was portrayed realistically as a guy who was never taught how to filter his thoughts into words. He says whatever he's thinking, and he has no idea that most of it isn't tactful or subtle at all, something that - in Japanese culture especially - can make for bad situations. Not only that, he seems to not pick up on social cues, either. The seme is a more regular guy, so he ends up helping the uke... but still, it's fascinating to see this kind of person in a yaoi.

This one makes full use of the 'I like you... SEX TIME!' cliche. Gah. I would have been so much happier if there had been, I dunno, SOME delay between those scenes. If the seme could have given the poor uke at least a warning, maybe things would have been less awkward afterwards. Sigh.

29.5/40.

Recommendation: If you like socially-inept ukes.

Review 97: Hidoi Otoko

Art: 7.5
Plot: 6
Characters: 8
Sex: 7

Okay, lots to say about this one. It's one of the ones where we've got an older uke (businessman) and a younger seme (college student). The seme hooks up with the uke at a bar, and the uke - a very serious man for the most part - deems it a purely sexual relationship, unbeknownst to the seme, who thinks they're together. Ironically, all they do when they're together is have sex, so I can see how the uke was confused.

The art is pretty good for the most part, but there are a handful of panels where I actually stopped reading to look more closely at them... certain flaws really stand out to me I guess, particularly when a character's nose or mouth is drawn oddly.

The characters are very difficult to understand, but I give it good points for portraying the difference between 'being on top' and 'being the dominant person in the relationship'. And, of course, much the same with the 'being on bottom' and 'being the submissive person in the relationship' thing. Though the older man is bottom, he's still the dominant person in the relationship, while the seme is on top but is the whiny, childish one. It's nice to see an understanding of this phenomenon in yaoi.

The sex is much too frequent. As in, every few pages. It makes it boring and completely expected, thereby lessening how interesting it is. Not too many points docked due to the uke's interesting shenanigans when he gets angry at how the seme's friends were calling him submissive and 'not aggressive at all'. And 'an old geezer'. That one must have hurt.

All in all, 28.5/40.

Recommendation: If you're curious about the aforementioned phenomenon.

Review 96: Star ni Ai

Art: 6
Plot: 6
Characters: 7
Sex: 7

Ugh. Let it be known that Yuzuha Ohgi's works are even less appealing to me than Tateno's. I mean, I may not be a fan of Tateno's distinct art style, but Ohgi's is just... yuck. I can't appreciate it at all. Baaaad art score here.

As for the plot... what a miserable story! One thing after another, gawd! They used so many ridiculous plot devices that I began to make a checklist in my mind. They used the 'guy gets stuck in the mountains on a school trip' device, shortly followed by a 'seme ties up uke and rapes him because he doesn't know how to express his feelings' device, which is IMMEDIATELY followed by the 'seme tries to commit suicide out of insecurity' device... wait, is that really a device? Maybe. Anyway, then there's the 'seme becomes a famous actor' device, which brings about the 'can't be open about our gay relationship due to paparazzi business' device, which naturally is accompanied by the 'official acting businessman approaches uke and tells him to break up with seme due to it affecting seme's opportunities'... ugh. And then, as if all those weren't enough, they spring the 'uke's former lover returns from another country and wants him back' device AT THE SAME TIME as they employ the dreaded 'uke lies and says that he's dumping seme but really it's because he doesn't want to inconvenience/hurt him' device. Lastly, (that I read) we have the impromptu bondage sex to convince the uke of the seme's feelings. Oh, yaoi, how filled with grief thou art...

The characters may have backstories and (semi?) deep personalities, but they're the wrong ones. I absolutely detest when the uke has such low self-esteem that he continually doesn't believe that the seme loves him, to the point where he screws things up. And the seme in this one is a insecure, suicidal wreck who lives only to love the uke. Tell me that isn't a good role model for singles everywhere.

I guess I gotta give the sex credit... Location, location, location! They do it not only in a bed, like 'normal people', but also in a university swimming pool (alone, thank gawd) and in an ALLEYWAY. Really, people? Was that necessary? Oh, and there were handcuffs. In the alleyway. Apparently the seme played a policeman in his latest drama-series.

All in all, 26/40.

Recommendation: None~!

Review 95: Brother

Art: 6
Plot: 7
Characters: 8
Sex: 6

This is an awkward manga. The romance is between two stepbrothers, which I find disconcerting. I mean... technically it isn't incest (is it?) because they aren't blood-related. But still, it doesn't sit well with me for whatever reason.

The art is not that great. Blah.

The plot is pretty simple, with predictable plot devices - the drunk who tries to rape the uke - so it isn't all that surprising. In fact, I pretty much saw the end way back in one of the first scenes.

The characters... I guess they're all right, but their circumstances make it so that they're difficult to identify with completely.

The sex would be good if one could forget the semi-incest thing going on. Hmmm.

All in all, 27/40.

Recommendation. Nope.

Review 94: Midare Somenishi

Art: 7

Plot: 8

Characters: 8

Sex: 8

Oooh, look, a historical Japanese piece! Though I gotta ask... what is it with bloodthirsty redheaded rounins (rogue samurai type)? Reminded me a bit of Rurouni Kenshin... hm. The art is all right but not my style. The plot is a lot to handle, but for people who like this sort of historical drama it's a good choice. The characters are memorable but not entirely likeable... and the sex varies from pretty good - the consensual stuff - to totally nasty - lots of rape, even gang-rape. Though they wouldn't have called it that back then, I suppose.

All in all, 31/40. An oddly high score.

Recommendation: If you like historical Japanese works. Or lots and lots of drama and gore.

Review 93: Rikara

Art: 7
Plot: 6
Characters: 7
Sex: 8

I dunno 'bout this one... yet another Chinese (and historical) setting, but the art isn't as good as in 'Koi no Tsubo'. The plot is definitely worse, and features a lot of rape by nasty people. Bleh. The characters are all right, but for some reason I just don't like them that much. The sex, however, is decent enough.

All in all, 28/40.

Recommendation: None really.

Review 92: Access

Art: 6
Plot: 7
Characters: 7
Sex: 8

This is another of Matoh's, and unfortunately it has the sex that 'Fake' deserved... and a lack of plot that makes one want to retreat to 'Fake'. Art is still very old-fashioned, plot is kind of half-interesting, and characters are just so-so.

All in all, 28/40.

Recommendation: None.

Funny Yaoi Pic of the Month

Another spontaneous action that came about as the result of the previous post... was a discovery of what is possible THE most hilarious yaoi page I have ever seen. Yes, I had previously read Embracing Love, and I don't know how I missed this, honestly.

So I hereby declare this to be the Funny Yaoi Pic of the Month! Stay tuned for next month's spectacle.

(Click to expand)

Spontaneous Rant: Top Ten Worst Yaoi Cliches!

I felt like doing something a little out-of-the-ordinary to break the usual pattern of things, so I've decided to spontaneously list the Top Ten Yaoi Cliches! That's right, a concrete list of all those little things you see popping up in countless yaoi mangas. We're talking 'oh my gawd, seriously' moments that make you wonder just how many authors/artists have fallen for such cheap plot devices/lines.

Well, without further ado, here they are (with pics)!

#10 - Someone who's not the seme is about to kiss the uke! Quick, kiss him first!

CLEARLY THAT WILL SOLVE EVERYTHING!

# 9 - Whoa, I just remembered that we were childhood friends! That would explain our hitherto inexplicable closeness!

# 8 - I have loads of money, so no one would even think of pressing charges (for harrassment, rape, sex slaves, a child prostitution ring...)!

# 7 - I was made for you! You are my DESTINY!

# 6 - No, we're actually not related by blood...

... You wanna do it?

# 5 - I'm just gonna wash your back/massage your shoulders/do acupuncture on you... I swear.


# 4 - I think... I like you too. SEX TIME!

# 3 - You raped me and it made me fall in love with you! ZOMG!

# 2 - I look ten, but I'm actually a twenty-five-year-old (teacher)!

# 1 - I'm not gay, I just like to have sex with guys!

Yep. Pretty sad, aren't they? But they're the worst cliches that we, as readers of yaoi, expect to see in our manga. One day, I hope to find a yaoi that incorporates every single one of these cliches into it's no-doubt hideous plot structure. We may only wait, and hope.

(Mangas used were 'Take Me to Heaven', 'Barefoot Waltz', 'Successful Man', 'Tokyo Renaikitan', 'Successful Man', 'Koi no Tsubo', 'Love Seeker', 'Little Romance', 'Gakuen Heaven', and 'Embracing Love' respectively.)

Reviews 90 and 91: Fake and Fake 2

Fake



Art: 6
Plot: 9
Characters: 9
Sex: 7


All right, to start off with, Fake is an excellent series for anyone who enjoys an action-packed yaoi with plenty of flirtation. However, the art style is extremely old-fashioned, and can put off potential readers from the get-go. I was lucky enough to get used to the art style pretty quickly, with the result that it became one of my favorite yaoi mangas. The characters are complex and deep (don't let the fact that they're police officers put you off), the plot is full of danger and guns and explosions and all that, and it's got comedy, drama, and action in all the right amounts.


The cons are worth mentioning, though. As said, the art style can be distracting (woo, 80's hair!). There are several child side-characters who honestly become a nuisance throughout the series. And the actual sex scene does not happen for a veeeeeeery long time (I'm talking upwards of 200 pages in, i.e. worse than 'My Voice'). And when the sex does happen, it's a little bit anticlimactic considering the wait - though I'm not complaining about the semi-sex scenes before that, which were all very much to my liking.


All in all, 31/40.


Recommendation: For those of us who enjoy a good action yaoi, with guns and lots of dramatic scenes!

Fake 2


Art: 7
Plot: 9
Characters: 9
Sex: 5


In the sequel series, it gets a (slight) art update. Although... I kinda got attached to the 80's hair... not gonna lie. Anyway, the quality of the plot is still great, we get to stick with the same characters (already developed in the first series) as well as some interesting new faces, aaaaaand... there's no sex. Whoaz.

Well, at least not in the first volume. Sigh.


All in all, 30/40.



Recommendation: For people who read and enjoyed 'Fake'.

Review 89: Take Me to Heaven

Art: 8
Plot: 8
Characters: 8
Sex: 6

This one makes a good shounen-ai until about the last chapter... when it becomes a yaoi. The art is nice, the plot is pretty fun (uke can see ghosts, seme is in training to take over the nearby temple so he saves uke from said ghosts), and the characters are really amusing. The uke is stubborn even though he cries whenever there are ghosts around, and the seme puts on a tough front but he really just wants to protect the uke no matter what. The only bad part is the brief sex scene, which is awkward because the uke doesn't look old enough to be engaging in said activities to begin with... it also isn't particularly steamy.

All in all, 30/40.

Recommendation: For people who enjoyed such works as 'Eerie Queerie' and 'Saa, Koi ni Ochitamae' and don't mind seeing them mixed together.

Review 88: Ijimetai Hodo

Art: 8
Plot: 8
Characters: 9
Sex: 8

This is a fun one. A bully - the seme - tries to intimidate a kid he's always crushed on who's in the same grade - the uke - but fails miserably year after year. His threats are empty because he'd never want to hurt his crush, but he keeps it up in order to put on a gruff image, and because he doesn't want anyone to know that he likes the uke. But this uke is vastly more intelligent than usual, and soon the bully becomes the bullied...

Art is good for this one. I especially like the uke's character design. So pretty~!

The plot is amusing and goes around full-circle at the end. I like it when mangas wrap things up like that, it's satisfying.

The characters are great. The cowardly, immature seme is hilarious, and the take-charge, cunning uke is such a treat. One doesn't often see ukes like this one.

The sex is pretty decent, actually. No complaints here, but nothing super special.

All in all, 33/40.

Recommendation: If you like comedies or ukes who can actually think for themselves.

Review 87: Koi no Tsubo

Art: 8
Plot: 8
Characters: 8
Sex: 8.5

This one has a lot of short stories, often involving an acupuncture clinic run by a very slutty but beautiful man named Dr. Meishuu. Another historical Chinese setting piece, this one also has some gorgeous outfits. The art is pretty nice, the plots are decent, the characters are likable enough... and the sex scenes are probably the best part of this one. They're a good length and can be a bit creative (particularly the one in the first story).

All in all, 32.5/40.

Recommendation: For those who have a liking for Chinese settings and historical pieces.

Review 86: Mugen no Roukaku

Art: 8
Plot: 8
Characters: 7
Sex: 8

Not entirely sure what to say about this one. It's a 'male geisha rescued by a dashing warrior' type deal, only the geisha is actually more of a stage performer in traditional Chinese theater. This has a historical setting, which is quite fun, but the characters lack explanation and substance. It's more of a one-shot in my mind.

All in all, 31/40. Further explanation deemed unnecessary.

Recommendation: If you like historical Chinese pieces. Or traditional clothing.

Review 85: The Last Client

Art: 7.5
Plot: 8
Characters: 8.5
Sex: 8.5

Gosh... and I thought 'Dog Style' was gritty... this one is much more intense, with a focus on the theme of corruption and adversity. The seme is a hitman who finds the uke - working the streets - when he is being beaten by some men he is semi-working for. The hitman takes him in and pays for him but refuses his 'services'. Eventually, they unravel each other's dark pasts and overcome their fears together... somewhat.

Art is so-so. I don't like the unshaven look, but that's not technically an art thing... more like a character thing.

The plot is pretty intense and rather dark, but decent. As mentioned above, it's full of violence and corruption, so it's not for everyone. A bit like 'Madness', I daresay, though that one has a lot else going for it to distract from the gritty realism.

The characters are really good. Asahi - the uke - is more than just a male prostitute. Just calling him that gives you a certain image, but it's entirely wrong. His past makes sense with what he has become, as does Chris's (the seme).

The sex is actually pretty rewarding. I mean, if you make it through that much of the suffering and elements of corruption, almost anything's gonna look good, but still.

All in all, 32.5/40.

Recommendation: If you're looking for a much more serious read.

Review 84: Successful Man

Art: 8
Plot: 8
Characters: 9
Sex: 8.5

This is the gay version of 'My Fair Lady'. Except that the boy in question has been picked out ahead of time instead of on the streets. Formerly living with foster parents, the uke has been told that on his twentieth birthday, he will join his benefactor and go into training to succeed him. But his benefactor, in addition to be 'the perfect successful man', is also difficult to deal with. He expects things to be done when and how he wants, and he also makes some disturbing moves on the uke that he later apologizes for. In a setting such as this, is love even possible...?

I didn't notice much about the art, which means it was good.

The plot was pretty interesting, and I was even surprised at some points. The uke's tenacity is admirable, and it really does remind me of 'My Fair Lady'.

The characters are really what brings this alive. For instance, if the characters had been weaker - the uke more helpless and the seme more sadistic - it could have turned out like No Money. I shudder to think.

The sex is actually kinda creepy the first time, but by the end of the novel it's quite satisfactory. Not taking too many points off, I suppose.

All in all, 33.5/40. Not too shabby! Why do I feel like playing Pokemon Snap...

Recommendation: If you loved 'My Fair Lady', or if you like businessmen in your yaoi.

Review 83: Sprout of Love

Art: 6
Plot: 6
Characters: 6
Sex: 7

This is like the ghetto version of 'Rin!'.... yeah. Worse art, less plot, less interesting characters, less sex. The sex scene is kinda sad, too. Seriously, that's all I need to say.

All in all, 25/40.

Recommendation: not recommended.

Review 82: Pet On Duty

Art: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 8
Sex: 8

Well, well, this one actually wasn't as bad as I remembered it being. Weird. It's about Mizuki, who's barely out of high-school and bankrupt since losing his job. His older brother (technically cousin) lets him stay in a 'bachelor's hostel' of the company he's working for. It's like a dorm, basically, and one of the members seems to take offense to Mizuki becoming the dorm 'pet' (cleaning stuff and making food). Kudou, said member, turns out to really care about Mizuki, and they end up living together there.

Art is pretty nice. Very standard, no surprises.

The plot, as described above, is incredibly simple. There's a lot of silly drama that reminds me of Fruits Basket... actually, the whole thing reminds me of Fruits Basket. Wow.

The characters are pretty likeable. Despite being a 'cute kitty uke', this one pulls it off in a way that almost isn't irritating at all. He has his reasons for having low self-esteem, and at least the other characters try to give him ego-boosts from time to time. Kudou is also a nice character, too.

The sex is pretty good despite how overly cute Mizuki looks. Ah, well.

All in all, 31/40. Ten points above 'Little Romance', har har.

Recommendation: If you like cute kitty ukes.

Review 81: Little Romance

Art: 6
Plot: 5
Characters: 5
Sex: 5

Whoa... this has to be THE WORST yaoi I have read, overall. The art is awful, the plot barely makes sense (it's like two mangas were combined), the characters change personalities in a split second, like they have no set characteristics, the characters resemble each other, and the sex consists of an actual rape scene, and then a semi-rape scene where the guy who was raped confesses his love to the 'sleep-walking rapist'. Seriously.

Awful, awful, awful. 21/40. Happy hunting.

Recommendation: none.