Review 24: Sweet

Art: 9
Plot: 7
Characters: 8
Sex: 9

Ah, Minami Haruka, how I love thee... and I'm a little ashamed to say it, but the all the cakes in this yaoi excite me more than anything else. They look so delicious! Okay, okay, enough of that.

The art is great, of course, as expected of a well-known yaoi artist. Clean lines, beautiful desserts... you know, standard stuff.

The plot follows Yuushi, a company worker who is told to get the manager of a five-star hotel to agree to sell their cakes through Yuushi's company. However, the manager won't agree unless Yuushi sleeps with him... every night. In return, he lets the company sell his desserts and also gives Yuushi the sweets as rewards. It's twisted, but hey, free cake!

The characters, as you can already see, are flat and completely unrealistic. I do sympathize with Yuushi, however, for letting himself be manipulated by lovely desserts... I feel a bit wistful thinking about that situation, myself.

The sex is very well-drawn and certainly hot enough. Add in the after-sex cakes and Haruka's on a roll again.

All in all, 33/40. The art and the cake-sex make up for the complete lack of plot and character development.

Recommendation: Do not read this while you're hungry! Trust me, just don't.

Review 23: No Money

Art: 8.5
Plot: 6
Characters: 8
Sex: 6

Okay, so I'm really biased on this one for a number of reasons, but let's just start out with the plot. This yaoi begins at a human auction, where Ayase (the supposedly 20-something guy who is the blonde in the above picture) is being sold against his will. Big businessman Kannou, the other guy in the picture, storms in and buys him for 1.2 billion... in cash. Yeah, right, but whatever. What really annoys me about this yaoi is the fact that, instead of explaining why he bought Ayase and helping him out of his debt (the reason for the mafia dealings), he becomes furious when Ayase doesn't remember him. And then he rapes him. This child-like little uke versus the humongous, muscular seme. It pisses me off that some yaoi choose to portray things this way, perpetuating the aesthetic values of shotacon and rape at the same time... I don't care what other people enjoy, but if I'm reading a yaoi where the uke is supposed to be over twenty, I want the uke to not look like a 12-year-old, because that doesn't sit well with me at all.

Anyway, ending that little rant, the art is pretty nice in this one if you can get past Ayase's frail-looking form. Obviously I have a problem with the plot, as explained above. And the characters don't exactly help me out enough, though Ayase progresses through volume one (I didn't read past that, so I can't say about the rest of it). And there is a hilarious crossdressing guy who adds the comic relief that is severely needed to lighten the frequent semi-rape scenes.
I don't think I have to say anything about the sex that wasn't said already.

All in all, 28.5. Let's just say it's lucky it has nice art.

Recommendation: I feel awkward saying this, but... don't try this one unless you're comfortable seeing angelic little ukes suffering. Personally, I'm happy I'll never be reading this one again.

Review 22: Love Prism

Art: 8
Plot: 5
Characters: 6
Sex: 8.5

I'm not really sure how to deal with this one. The plot's almost as bad as something you'd expect of pornography, and the characters aren't well-developed at all. The art is decent, and the sex is the only part of the manga where any value is evident. And even that is arguable, because, while the sex is certainly steamy enough, it isn't exactly vanilla, so it probably would put off the more delicate readers.

Basically, as plot goes, this one can be summed up in one sentence: a guy on the basketball team goes over to his teammate's house to check up on him but instead witnesses him having crazy sex with some other guy, and then the hapless viewer becomes curious and then lustful over his teammate.

Anyway, this gets a 27.5. I'm not gonna say much more because this doesn't even deserve the time it took to load the manga pages.

Recommendation: If you're in the mood for some random gay porn, this is it. Just don't expect anything interesting or emotionally engaging.

Review 21: Lovers Only

Art: 7
Plot: 7
Characters: 7
Sex: 7

Lovers Only is centered on Arashi, a guy who has a ridiculous amount of good luck, and his run-in with Masato, who has the exact opposite situation. Because Masato always gets into bad situations, Arashi ends up involved and saves him, with the result that it seems their positions have switched due to Arashi getting hurt for Masato's sake. Somehow, in the midst of this chaos a spontaneous love blooms.

I'm not a fan of this particular art style (sorry, Takanagi Yuuna). It isn't detailed enough to be eye-catching, and it ends up just looking like a bad doujinshi (ouch...).

The plot is singularly based on coincidences, with the result that it all seems pretty staged even in the first chapter. Add to this the unoriginal dialogue, and you've cooked up a yaoi plot that's worse than average.

The characters are somewhat likable. Arashi is pitiable due to his unfortunate involvement with Masato, who becomes something of a curse to him despite their budding romance. Masato, however, is just so emotionally-dismal that he's almost painful to read about. Sure, if I had that much bad luck, I'd be depressed... but it just isn't enjoyable to see.

Well, there's not much to say about the sex, which basically means it's not that great. No build-up whatsoever, no interest for the reader.

All in all, 28/40. Pretty darn bad.

Recommendation: Just don't bother reading this one. At all.

Let's Review

Now that there are twenty reviews up, let's compare the scores (and add scores for the few I missed) to see which of these are worth reading!

Shitsuren Mania - 35
Mede Shireru Yoru no Junjou - 34.5
I Don't Dislike You - 34
I Want to be Naughty - 34
La Satanica - 33.5
Rifle Scope - 33.5
Private Prince - 33
Junjou Romantica - 32.5
Darling - 32.5
The Art of Loving - 32
Mr. Convenience - 32
Dog Style - 31
Saa, Koi ni Ochitamae - 31
Momoiro Junjou Danshi - 31
Love Life - 31
Kishidou Club - 30.5
Oujisama Game - 30.5
Tenshi no Tamagoryouri - 30
Junjou to Furachi - 29
Junk!Boys - 29

Congratulations to Shitsuren Mania, our winner for the first twenty reviews!

And now, here are the ones I didn't rate (fully) at the time, in case you just have to know the individual scores. They're on the above list, but this is where those scores magically appeared from.

Rifle Scope - Art: 7, Plot: 8.5, Characters: 9, Sex: 9
33.5

Kishidou Club - Art: 8, Plot: 7, Characters: 7.5, Sex: 8
30.5

La Satanica - Art: 8.5, Plot: 7, Characters: 9, Sex: 9
33.5

The Art of Loving - Art: 8, Plot: 9, Characters: 9, Sex: 6
32

Private Prince - Art: 9, Plot: 8.5, Characters: 7, Sex: 8.5
33

Saa, Koi ni Ochitamae - Art: 8, Plot: 7, Characters: 8, Sex: 8
31

Shitsuren Mania - Art: 8.5, Plot: 8.5, Characters: 9, Sex: 9
35

Darling - Art: 8, Plot: 8, Characters: 8, Sex: 8.5
32.5

Review 20: Mede Shireru Yoru no Junjou

Art: 9
Plot: 8.5
Characters: 8
Sex: 9

In Mede Shireru Yoru no Junjou (something like 'Pure Love Evening') Kichou and Kagerou are male geishas - considered crossdressing, I suppose - in Neo-Japan, where prostitution has been made legal. They argue and have their little cat fights to feel like there's something interesting in their lives of sex-for-money. But one day, Kagerou trips and his earring leaves a cut on Kichou's face, which is a terrible thing for a geisha. To 'pay' for it, Kichou visits Kagerou that night, and a forbidden romance between crossdressing male geishas commences.
... Yeah, even I can't really take this seriously. It's not actually comedy, really.

The art is quite beautiful. With all of the flowing kimonos and the graceful visages of the male geishas, it's very easy on the eyes. Not to mention that Kishou manages to be gorgeous as a female and a male, which is difficult to think about at some points.

The plot is fascinating. Their relationship appears, on the surface, to be yuri due to their crossdressing, but underneath it all they're still both men. This gives the yaoi a whole new world to express itself in, and is extra fun if you like reading both yuri and yaoi. Bonus points?

The characters are pretty flat, but at least they have backgrounds (somewhat) in the form of flashbacks. And they're very nice looking. That always helps!

The sex is partially amusing, partially steamy. It's an odd combination that somehow works in this particular yaoi. It appears more seductive than comical, luckily, and even becomes rather giggle-inducing at times.

All in all, 34.5/40. Well done!

Recommendation: If you like gender-benders and fun lesbian overtones to your yaoi, give this a try! And if you like seeing beautiful men in women's kimonos, all the better.

Review 19: Mr. Convenience

Art: 7.5
Plot: 8
Characters: 8
Sex: 8.5

Mr. Convenience is about a man who works at a place where they basically take requests to do all sorts of things, from gardening to babysitting to chauffeuring to escorts to... what Shiba Takashi ends up doing, which is listening to a cute guy talk about how lonely and disappointed he is at his father's company. This becomes a regular occurrence, but it's strictly business - when the clock stops, he gets kicked out politely. And when he sees Aki in public, he isn't allowed to even look at him because their sessions are confidential. It's tough when Shiba ends up in love with Aki.
My favorite line from this one was, "Someone help me, I'm so happy~"

The art is not that great. It isn't horrible to look at, but I've seen so many stunning works that just make it pale in comparison. It doesn't even measure up to the standard 8 of Makoto Tateno's clean-lined works.

The characters are interesting, at least. Shiba is easy to sympathize with, and Aki is just plain weird, if fascinating. They hold the reader's attention for long enough.

The sex is actually pretty decent. In fact, it's better than I expected (somehow I feel odd saying all that... hope no one sees this out of context). Even though Shiba and Aki's personalities aren't all that inventive, it's still carried out interestingly enough.

All in all, 32/40. Not bad, really. Which makes me wonder if I did those calculations wrong...

Recommendation: Yep, another rainy day read. But this one has a bit more to it than the others I've reviewed lately.

Review 18: Oujisama Game

Art: 8.5
Plot: 8.5
Characters: 6
Sex: 7.5

Oujisama Game ("Prince Game") is a compilation of four different stories, each involving a prince. The first is about a prince who is approached by a slave and at first shuns him, but then he discovers that the slave is the same man who tutored him when he was a child (and the tutor not much older, thank goodness). The second is about a prince who is attacked by an assassin and overpowers him; the assassin wants to commit suicide, but the prince is amused by him as say that he'll take him as his official consort and give him a chance every day to kill him - and for every day he fails, he has to spend the night in the arms of the prince. The third story is about a man (the 'minister of the right') who is obsessed with the prince from the second story, but ends up realizing that the person he really loves is his associate, the 'minister of the left'. The fourth story is about a prince who has a (mostly, or there wouldn't be a story) unrequited love for a mercenary.

The art is pretty nice; it's not awe-inspiring but it is tasteful and rather pretty at some points.

The plots vary from downright lame (stories number one and three) to intriguing (story number two) to comical (story number four).

The characters, despite the different stories, are always easy to predict and stereotypical 'types' that one sees all the time in yaoi. None of them present any surprises, sadly.

The sex is just a little sub-par, mostly due to its brevity and the fact that most of it is left out of the actual drawings. Oh, well.

All in all, a 30.5/40. Not that great, but hey, it's a risk with these gamble-compilations. Could be good, could be totally nasty.

Recommendation: Another semi-decent rainy day read, but don't try it if you want any kind of substance.

A Short Note on Yaoi as a Genre

This blog was made to critique yaoi. Naturally, the definition of 'yaoi' is very important to me, and when I see so many people misusing it... well, I figure it has to be set right again. There are many, many posts from others like me, correcting those who use the term incorrectly, but it still happens.

If you're interested in the etymology, read on (if not, skip to the next paragraph). The term 'yaoi' is actually an acronym that comes from the Japanese phrase, 山　なし、　おち　なし、　いみ　なし。 [YAma nashi, Ochi nashi, Imi nashi], which translates roughly to 'no plot, no resolution, no point'. It has been joked about, however, to have come from a different phrase,　止めて、　お尻　が　痛い！。　[YAmete, Oshiri ga Itai!], or 'stop, my ass hurts!' I find them both equally amusing.

'Yaoi' is classified as explicit and sexual romance between two males. 'Shounen-ai' is used to describe male-male romance that doesn't involve sex. 'Slash' is a word that means male-male relationships in a broad way and doesn't define any specific parameters. There are many other definitions related to these, but I think the ones here are sufficient for now.

Maybe I'll make a habit of this. Definitions of the Week, anyone?

Review 17: Tenshi no Tamagoryouri

Art: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 7
Sex: 8

Tenshi no Tamagoryouri ("Scramble Angel Egg" ... what?) is another yaoi with three main characters. Eiji is a chef at a culinary school who longs to meet another person who can create 'delicacies' but is too withdrawn because his lover left him years ago. His problem student, Taki, is a cute child-like guy who is constantly wreaking havoc in the classroom. OH. It appears that Taki is actually as young as he looks... fifteen. Scratch child-like, then. He IS a child (is this legal?). Luckily, they aren't the relationship in this yaoi (phew), as we find out when Taki reveals that the reason he's trying so hard to learn to cook is because his father has been widowed and they keep hiring new cooks. Taki doesn't feel comfortable with 'strange women' in the house, so he wants to learn to cook for his father to preserve some traces of family life.
Of course, since the father needs someone to cook for him, and the teacher is single and longs to be appreciated (in a culinary way), Eiji ends up cooking for Taki and his father. But there's a catch - Taki's father is the man who left Eiji all those years ago, and this just got real complicated.
And I just have to mention this quote because it made my laugh when I read it, especially out of context. "Women are not just tools for preparing meals." Good one, Taki.

The art is standard, nothing much to say.

The plot, as explained earlier, is decent but much too soap-opera-y for my liking. There isn't much depth to it, and the many coincidences aren't that believable.

The characters are all right, but it feels like Eiji changes between chapters. At first he's cold and aloof, and then suddenly he turns around and offers to cook for Taki and his father. It can't be from an ulterior motive because he doesn't even know Taki's father's identity at that point. Weird...

The sex is meh. It's okay, but it's only just on par with any other yaoi you could pick off the shelves (sites?).

All in all, 30/40. It's decent but not enthralling.

Recommendation: A good rainy day read!

Review 16: Junjou to Furachi

Art: 7
Plot: 7
Characters: 8
Sex: 7

Junjou to Furachi ("Naive and Innocent") revolves around two high-school basketball players, Nakajima and Satoshi, who are childhood friends and neighbors. The conflict, however, is focused on a third guy, the basketball star of their school - upperclassman Nao. See, one night when Nakajima got smashed and passed out at a party, Nao took him up to a bedroom and began to take advantage of him (despite being the 'uke' of the pair). But Nakajima woke up, and since he already had a crush on Nao they ended up doing it without much thought. Nao, however, said to "just forget about it", and Nakajima has been uncomfortable since.
This brings us to the beginning of the story, where Satoshi tells his bff, Nakajima, that he likes Nao. Nakajima's reaction is something along the lines of, "But you date girls!" But really, he's most shocked because, "Why did it have to be Nao he was crushing on?"
This love triangle-ish thing is pretty intense. Nakajima and Satoshi have a strong bond of friendship. Nao definitely likes Nakajima, and Nakajima did like Nao before they literally screwed things over for themselves. Satoshi likes Nao, but Nao doesn't seem to be interested in Satoshi as anything but a way to get to Nakajima again. Fun stuff, right?
The real kicker is when Satoshi and Nao, having been on a date, both text Nakajima at the same time. Nao says, "I want to see you", while Satoshi says, "Can I come over? I need some comforting." What does Nakajima choose? Oh, suspense!

The art is rather disappointing in this one. It isn't terrible, but it isn't the smooth lined, well-sculpted look we've come to expect (I blame Makoto Tateno's numerous works). Of course, if you like the slightly rougher appearance, the more scattered lining and such, it won't bother you.

The plot isn't all that special, but it does have a realistic confusion to it that many readers can sympathize with, particularly those who are in a triangle situation like this one. I did, however, have a major problem with the ending... poor Satoshi is discarded from the story in a shameless fashion, while Nakajima gets the guy. Bros before hoes, man. Not cool.

The characters are interesting, but not star material. Enough realism in thrown into them to make them believable, but not quite enough to truly engage readers. Perhaps in a different light, or a different mood, they'd seem more appealing.

The sex is pretty standard for a yaoi, but it's limited to only one brief scene, and they're both drunk. Disappointing much?

All in all, a 29/40. Ouch... that doesn't sound very good, and it isn't. Not going to spare any hearts on this one.

Recommendation: If you're going through a similar crisis to Nakajima's, perhaps reading this might help you think things through (though I wouldn't advise following his behavior). But this really isn't a very absorbing read for anyone else, sadly.