Review 156: Punch Drunk Babies

Art: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 8
Sex: 7

This one's about an aspiring boxer who meets a guy who trained himself to box so he could use it as self-defense (he's pretty). The aspiring boxer takes in the other guy because he made him lose his job (it was an accident involving sushi). The art is good, the plot is... different... the characters are good, though, and the sex is all right. Even if it has nothing to do with the main characters the first time.

Overall, 30/40.

Recommendation: If you like boxing.

Review 155: Zetsuai and Bronze

Art: 6
Plot: 5
Characters: 7
Sex: 5

This one's confusing, and it's also from the 80's. Some famous singer guy passes out on a street and is taken in by a brother and sister who he somehow had played soccer with in elementary school. But the singer has no memory of his life besides soccer, and all he wants to do is play soccer. Eventually he develops feelings for the guy taking care of him, along with all of the other complicated messes going on.

Art's not to my liking, plot is intricate in a bad way, characters are difficult to distinguish due to the art (no idea who's who half the time), and the sex doesn't happen until over a hundred pages in, which is what we like to call shounen-ai most of the time.

Today's lesson: yaoi = sex before the fiftieth page
shounen-ai + yaoi = sex after the fiftieth page
shounen-ai = no sex

Overall, 23/40.

Recommendation: Never!

Review 154: Detective Bluecat

Art: 7
Plot: 5
Characters: 7
Sex: 5

This one is about a wealthy man, Aoneko, who indulges in unofficial detective work for fun. He is opposed by Hachiouji, an actual detective, as well as many other criminals and adversaries. Unfortunately, the translation of this manga is terrible, and it attempts to directly translate Japanese names into their literal meanings - point being, it's nearly impossible to read without an eyebrow twitching. Anyway, Aoneko gets himself into all sorts of trouble and has many sordid, scandalous nights which are considered deviant in this time period (probably around the 20's). Unfortunately, one of the lengthy flashbacks concerns incest with Aoneko and his uncle.

The art isn't anything to shout about, the plot is confusing and ridiculous, the characters are difficult to understand, and the sex is pretty bla and predictable.

Overall, 24/40.

Recommendation: If you like detectives. MAYBE.

Review 153: Rising Storm

Art: 6
Plot: 6
Characters: 6
Sex: 6

I was not impressed with this one. A Japanese youth goes to a guy's mansion to take care of his horses (for reasons TOO ridiculous to be stated here) and the wealthy guy falls for him. Unfortunately, when the uke is in the house he tends to accidentally break priceless vases. For every artifact broken, the seme inflicts some sort of ass-related punishment. This starts with spankings and goes alllll the way. To all the way. You know.

The art I disliked, especially in the sex scenes. It always looked awkward and inelegant. The plot is obviously bad, the characters flat and just plain weird, and the sex worse.

The only good thing that came out of this was one priceless line:
"If you get lost in these woods, you won't find your way back. There's a weak magnetic field here that makes it very dangerous."

Overall, 24/40.

Recommendation: If you think that plot sounds entertaining.

Review 152: Dear Green

Art: 8
Plot: 6
Characters: 7
Sex: 6

This one's different, but in an uninteresting way. The two are lovers when the story starts, and the plot has to do with how they're going to tell their best female friend from high-school days. She was actually the girlfriend of one of the guys before (he realized his sexuality?), which makes things complicated. But it all turns out all right, except that the sex doesn't happen for a long, long time.

Overall, 27/40.

Recommendation: Not really.

Review 151: Your Feelings

Art: 9
Plot: 6
Characters: 6
Sex: 6

Okay, another 'childhood friend' cliche plus the old 'must not let him know I like him or we can't be friends' dilemma. This culminates in an extraordinarily swift realization that they like each other, which rushes into the sex scene without any hesitation. I think I speak for many when I say... what? Somehow I don't imagine virgin guys, who have never even kissed before, randomly sexing it up (okay, so maybe I'm wrong, but it still should have hurt the poor uke more than it did).

Overall, 27/40.

Recommendation: Nah, breh.

Review 150: Vibrator Company

Art: 7
Plot: 5
Characters: 5
Sex: 5

This one sounds a lot more interesting than it is. Basically, one guy invites his childhood friend over for a New Years' party at his family's bathhouse. But he doesn't invite anyone else. As the clock strikes midnight, the guy proclaims 'New Years' sex!' and there's a sloppy, ridiculous, almost entertaining sex scene in the bath. Almost entertaining.

I think I can call 'nuff said at this point.

22/40.

Recommendation: If you're insane in the membrane.

Review 149: Countless Time

Art: 7
Plot: 7
Characters: 8
Sex: 8

Makoto Tateno strikes again, this time with a yakuza-filled dystopian... wait, isn't that just like Steal Moon? Okay, okay, so this one is different. This time, we have a yakuza boss and a guy who wants to be a bodyguard for him (in order to find out who killed his wife and took her ring). But it turns out that the yakuza boss doesn't have the ring after all, and yet... the bodyguard falls for the yakuza boss. Of course. There's a lot of other stuff about the rival yakuza group, some kind of supercomputer, and weird futuristic shenanigans (also like Steal Moon).

At least the characters aren't bad, and the sex is all right. The art isn't as good as Tateno's other works, though, if I have to judge.

Overall, 30/40.

Recommendation: If you liked Steal Moon.

Review 148: Cornered Mouse

Art: 8
Plot: 8
Characters: 8.5
Sex: 9

The plot basically goes like this:

"Hi, I'm a private investigator. Your wife hired me to uncover your infidelities, and I found plenty of evidence."
"No, wait! All those times were only because I can't say no! I was manipulated because I'm such a wimpy guy!"
"In that case, if you don't want your wife to find out, you have to give me your body."
"Not you, too!"

So the poor (not really) guy is forced to submit to most of the investigator's advances. But the strange thing is that the investigator isn't interested in simply coercing him into sex - he starts with only kissing, like a romantic. As we all know, however, there are rarely true romantics in yaoi, which leads to the investigator forcing sexual favors onto the can't-say-no guy.

The art was very nice, which was a pleasant surprise. The plot, despite how awful it sounds, turned out to be very intriguing due to the good writing and interesting dilemmas the characters face. The characters were also very likable, and realistically flawed for a change. The sex is drawn very well and is full of intensity - finally.

Overall, 33.5/40.

Recommendation: If you like blackmail?

Review 147: Gekka Joujin

Art: 7
Plot: 8
Characters: 8
Sex: 6

Okay, so the uke here (Nanagi) is a demon-fighting shaman. Yeahhhh. And the seme is a school-teacher-turned-guardian of said shaman. They are directed by Shao to do certain demon-exposing missions, but the catch is that Nanagi in his shy form is incapable of battle. In order to get into his battle-form, he has to reach a level of euphoria with the help of either some summer herbs or the good ol' fashioned way - sex.

The art is pretty bad quality for the most part, but I really like how Nanagi looks for some reason. Extra points to boost that score a little.

The plot is interesting but a little too creative. Too much going on, perhaps. The characters are good, too. The sex is really brief and not very intense, so points off there.

Overall, 29/40.

Recommendation: To fans of Eerie Queerie and such.

Review 146: Bukiyou de Gomen

Art: 8
Plot: 8.5
Characters: 8
Sex: 8.5

What a pleasant surprise! Masaki, the 'uke', finds out that the guy he was seeing was just using him as a plaything at the hotel, so he dumps him and runs off into the woods. Masaki finds shelter from the rain in a randomly-placed house in the woods, a vacation cottage that is currently tended by Ichirou, an exceedingly nice guy the same age as Masaki. Masaki impulsively has sex with him because he's upset and wants to devalue someone the same way he was devalued. He leaves in the morning but he encounters Ichirou - and Takatou, the jerk ex-lover - at his school soon after. Ichirou helps him scare off Takatou, and Masaki begins to realize how crazy he has been acting, as well as how good a guy Ichirou is.

The art was fair but not gorgeous. The plot was actually quite enjoyable, for whatever reason. The characters were quite good - I especially liked Ichirou's simple honesty and kindness. It was refreshing for yaoi, truthfully. And the sex scenes were pretty nice, too; they were basic but well-drawn and intense.

Overall, 33/40.

Recommendation: If you like nice-guy semes and ukes getting righteous revenge.

Review 145: Blurry Moon

Art: 8
Plot: 6
Characters: 6
Sex: 6

This one is a 'host' yaoi where one of the most popular hosts is an uke who has unrequited love for a more popular host. Of course, it turns out that this guy raped him in high school and then abandoned him under a full moon. Somehow, this makes the uke decide to have sex with him - consensually this time - with little explanation. I don't know; it's a mystery to everyone.

The art is quite good, even if the two main characters look a little young to be hosts. Or to be sexing it up, either way.

The plot is weird and has too many flashbacks. The characters are standard but not very deep, and their actions don't make a lot of sense. The sex is okay but shadowed by the rape flashback, which leaves a bad taste in my mouth. And his, probably.

Overall, 26/40.

Recommendation: Whoever they're marketing these rape mangas to. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Review 144: Blind Love

Art: 8
Plot: 5
Characters: 6
Sex: 5

Yeah... for whatever reason, plots where the uke gets drugged and raped before the tenth page don't appeal to me. Which is exactly what this one is, no denying it. There's really not much else to it, no substance or anything. And I don't know what kind of aphrodisiac they're using, but... sigh. All the semes seem to have some tucked away nowadays.

The art is nice, thanks to Kanbe Akira. But how much can you appreciate art with a plot like this?

'Nuff said about the plot. The characters are awful, too. The uke has very little personality, and the seme is a mindless lust machine. He isn't even that attractive. The sex is not actually sex here, so I can't rate that so much.

Overall, 24/40.

Recommendation: If you liked No Money. Har har.

Review 143: Bitter

Art: 8.5
Plot: 5
Characters: 7
Sex: 7

Pretty standard plot here. The young hotel-chain manager finds a drunk patron - a beautiful uke - and carries him to his own suite. Then he takes off the unconscious guy's clothes and molests him, leading to a very angry uke in the morning. "I mistook you for a prostitute," the hotel manage says. The uke, however, will have none of this.
Soon, the hotel manager finds out that the uke was in fact his rival; another hotel manager with a competing hotel. And the uke proposes a deal - in return for use of his body, he wants the seme to help out the rival hotel's marketing at the risk of his own hotel.

The art is pretty nice, courtesy of Minami Haruka of course. I like this style, in spite of the feminine portrayal of both uke and seme.

The plot is obviously not great, but whatever. It's Minami Haruka; some sacrifices can be made.

The characters aren't superb, but I'm rather fond of the uke hotel manager, Shou. He manages to be detached and alluring because of his bitterness (hence the title) which is an interesting twist for a cute uke.

The sex was all right, but for some reason the effeminate way the seme is portrayed doesn't work for me here. All the characters look just a little too similar.

Overall, 27.5/40.

Recommendation: If you like slutty, bitter ukes who only care about money. I.e. gold-diggers.

Review 142: Binetsu Shukan

Art: 7
Plot: 6
Characters: 6
Sex: 7

The plot here is a simple equation.

heat wave + slut = sex

What this means is that the heat wave in this story causes the slut (uke? I guess) to take off his shirt, leading to spontaneous sex with the seme who has been watching him around the office recently.

Anyway, the art is pretty unremarkable, the plot is iredeemably lame, the characters aren't fleshed-out at all, and the sex is predictable and not at all entertaining.

Overall, 26/40.

Recommendation: Naaaah.

Review 141: Barbarian in Tokyo

Art: 6
Plot: 8
Characters: 6
Sex: 6

The plot revolves around a 22-year-old idiot detective named Fubuki, who looks suspiciously like Ayase from No Money. This detective gets into all sorts of trouble and is rescued multiple times by the head of the nearby yakuza group. This leads to sexual endeavors that look very unbalanced due to Fubuki's childlike appearance.

The art is terrible. Sometimes I was mislead because the lines didn't make sense with the expression shown. Most of the faces were just flat and unappealing, and even the main characters weren't remarkably drawn most of the time.

The plot was the only decent part of this one. It reminded me of a prototype of Fake, which is actually one of my favorite action/drama series. However, this yaoi messes up by giving the uke detective absolutely no ability to get himself out of bad situations. I don't think he can even shoot a gun, really. So exasperating.

The characters, as I may have insinuated earlier, are lame and easily likened to similar, also undesirable ones. The uke is the typical helpless, bunny-uke who gets kidnapped all the time, and the seme is the typical yakuza boss with a soft spot (and a not-so-soft spot) for for said uke. Been there, read that.

The sex is sad. By sad I mean that Fubuki is way too young looking and he doesn't seem like he'd be experienced with sexual activities. But he appears to experience very little pain during the sex scene... odd. Can't say that struck me as realistic.

Overall, 26/40.

Recommendation: Go read No Money. Seriously, it's better. Never thought I'd say that.

Review 140: Arrested Man

Art: 6
Plot: 5
Characters: 7
Sex: 5

Okay, so I could tell by the title picture that this was going to be one of 'those' yaoi, but I was woefully unprepared for the horrors within. Iori has just dumped his girlfriend when he is approached and knocked out by his adopted (?) little brother, Naoki, who is now an adult as well. Naoki kidnaps him, ties him to a bed, and does (what most people would call) unspeakable things to him. He also gives the reader a flashback to the tragedies of his childhood at the hands of Iori, showing us that - hooray! - his lurid acts are semi redeemable. Seriously, that's it.

The art is awful. Nothing more. The plot is obviously horrendous. The characters make a little sense, but they also make me nauseous. The sex is the worst part, as it is highly distasteful and even... gory... which should just not happen. Ever.

Overall, 23/40.

Recommendation: NO.

Review 139: Gravity Eyes

Art: 7
Plot: 6
Characters: 7
Sex: 7

Gravity Eyes is the story of a university student who sells two kittens to a professor because his apartment doesn't allow pets. The professor - Kiriya - demands that the student - Kuramoto - take care of the kittens by coming over to his apartment and feeding them, etcetera. In this way, Kuramoto becomes close to the professor and learns of all the complexities hidden within that majestic, unsmiling face. In this way, Kuramoto's tragic past is also revealed, making for a very dramatic manga in general.

The art is okay, but I didn't love it. Kuramoto's hair didn't appeal to me for whatever reason, and the expressions often seemed too generic - typical smiles, frowns, etc.

The plot, as seen above, is far too much to explain here. It is highly melodramatic, very coincidental in many scenes, and a roller-coaster plot. The reader barely has enough time to recover in between bouts of either sappy or tear-jerker dialogue. It might have been an easier story to enjoy if it hadn't been crammed so full of emotion.

Honestly, I wasn't fond of the characters. Kuramoto makes some uncharacteristic choices that mess his life up, and he doesn't react in a natural way most times. Maybe I just don't 'get' his personality, but he seemed like a generic uke except for the odd few scenes. And Kiriya just struck me as a nasty Eiri Yuki type, except not in a badass way. More like a haggard, defeated professor - not nearly as sexy, assuredly.

The sex - what very little there was - was permeated with emotion, emotion, and more emotion! It was impossible to focus on any of the (nonexistent) steaminess as a result, and the sex scenes were brief and unsatisfactory.

Overall, 27/40.

Recommendation: If you're a sucker for soap operas.