The Problem(s) with Yaoi Manga

Anyone who has read a good deal of yaoi manga will be able to identify these problems pretty quickly. They're the lines that make you roll your eyes, the plot developments that make you shake your head and wonder if you should keep reading or just find something else. They are all the instances where believability comes crashing down or cliches dominate.

Some of these are inherent in many genres of manga, while others I've seen are more a yaoi thing.

1) the jealous ex who randomly enters the manga and messes things up for the main couple
2) the newcomer who is ridiculously good-looking and tries to steal the show, and one of the main characters, from the other
3) bullying, kidnapping, blackmail...
4) "It's the only way."
5)
6) the magical make-over that turns someone unnattractive into someone drop-dead gorgeous; often unrealistic
7) damsel-in-distress plotlines
8) "You must do it in order to pay off your debt to me."
9) the character is assaulted - violently and/or romantically - and makes no struggle against it despite not wanting it
10) rich characters, particularly semes, who manipulate the world with money to the point of shattering believability

And much, much more. Have any to add? I'm sure I haven't covered nearly all of them.

Review 167: Sorenari ni Shinken Nan Desu

Art: 8
Plot: 8.5
Characters: 9
Sex: 7.5

Oosawa works at some kind of noodle shop, and Yoshioka is always coming in (with different boyfriends) to order his favorites. Oosawa is divorced - his wife walked out on him - and takes care of his kindergarten-age daughter. He thinks of Yoshioka as a careless man who goes from one partner to another, but one day Oosawa's daughter gets sick and he needs help taking care of her. Yoshioka has an apartment nearer to the doctor's and to the noodle shop, so he offers for Oosawa and his daughter to stay there temporarily given the emergency.

As Yoshioka shows his caring side and Oosawa finds out more about him, they grow closer. Finally, after numerous mishaps and Oosawa's misgivings (he thinks he's completely straight), they get together and start to create a rewarding life together (hooray).

Art is pretty good. The plot is much better than I expected - nice flow, pacing, etcetera. The characters are great; I didn't expect the daughter to have any depth in a yaoi manga, but she was a very sympathetic character. Oosawa and Yoshioka both have deep backstories and come off as very likable.

The sex was different, but not bad. Seeing as Oosawa is a 'virgin' to guys, it makes sense for it to be awkward the first time. But their interactions in general are very cute.

Overall, 33/40.

Recommendation: If you like sweet stories and cute romances.

Review 166: Dolce

Haha. Cropped out the guy with the beard.

Art: 8
Plot: 8
Characters: 8
Sex: 7.5

Hmm... this is a hard one to judge. On one hand, there's a fun cafe-with-cute-guys theme like in many yaoi, and the characters really are very good. The art is excellent (though I detest beards, even small ones), and the plot is pretty good, too. But there is one faux-rape scene... surprisingly, however, it is dealt with in a much more realistic way, in which the uke actually fights back and slings some punches afterward, and he doesn't simply forgive the seme for it. I appreciate this portrayal much more than any of the others I've seen so far.

Basically, the waiter guy on the far left of the picture is the son of the cafe's owner. He's a slacker and flirt at first, but the guy in the middle (head chef) reforms him with the added incentive of how much the heir likes him. The guy on the right is the naive but funny guy who's training to be a chef, and the bearded guy to the right who got cut off is a chef who joins them later, who also loves teasing everyone with pranks or by misguiding words.

It's cute and amusing for the most part, and when there are serious moments, they're handled well. Impressive yaoi that still delivers sexual tension.

31.5/40.

Recommendation: If you like things like Antique Bakery and Coffee Prince.

Review 165: Go Go Kikaku

Art: 7.5
Plot: 5
Characters: 5
Sex: 5

Another 'wtf' yaoi. This 17-year-old kid (who looks 12) gets mistaken for someone else and sexually pounced by a slightly older guy. This leads to awkward hotel sex, and for some reason the uke doesn't manage to tell the seme he's the wrong person until after. This leads to some confusion, and the uke gets introduced to the seme's group of associates, called Go Go Kikaku. They do lots of random jobs, anything from car-washing to babysitting to (naturally) hush-hush prostitution. Or so it looked like, anyway.

And of course, the uke is offered a job with them, with the result that whenever he's on a two-man job with another associate, they end up slutting it up with him. He 'protests' (yeah, right) but it eventually overrun with lust and surrenders to whichever seme it happens to be. Greaaaat plot.

Characters have little to no personality, especially the blow-up doll of an uke. The art is actually okay, sadly. The sex, as I said, is bland and often ridiculous with the uke's fake protests.

22.5/40.

Recommendation: If you liked 'Junk!Boys'. Seriously.

Review 164: Elle to Takara

Art: 6
Plot: 5
Characters: 5
Sex: 5

You know, I knew it was going to be bad, just from looking at the cover. But I had no idea what was in store... so I'll say it quickly. Elle the wolf cub chases Takara the rabbit, only to befriend him. One day, Takara spontaneously sexes up Elle. Woo, pedophilia!

I think I've said enough. Even if this was an acceptable story - it isn't - the art is bad, the story extremely brief and with no distinguishable plot, the characters are out of a kid's picture book, and the sex is very graphic and very disturbing.

21/40.

Recommendation: Noooo, sir.

Review 163: Freezing Flame

Art: 7
Plot: 6
Characters: 7
Sex: 6

Akira Kanbe always draws the exact same uke - ick. Plus, the plot is another of those same recycled, tired old plots. This time it's the 'wealthy company heir guy outsources the uke's smaller company except he is willing to negotiate... for SEX'. So, in other words, L'Etoile Solitaire (huurk). The characters seemed kinda watery as well. Obviously, the sex was lame and unimaginative, as expected from such lack of creativity in the plot.

26/40.

Recommendation: If you liked L'Etoile Solitaire. Har har.

Review 162: Tsumasaki ni Kiss

Art: 6.5
Plot: 7
Characters: 7.5
Sex: 7

Hmm... the art for this one isn't that great. If you look closely you'll see the lack of detail in most of the panels. It could be said to be a certain style of artwork, but I still don't like it. The plot - basic Yakuza Romeo-Juliet type deal with a 'dumb, persistent flirt' character thrown in to try to get Juliet away from Romeo - is okay but a little simple and overdone. The characters are fun, but the third wheel guy is just annoying. The sex is okay but the art style leaves much to be desired.

28/40.

Recommendation: Not even for yakuza-lovers. Because there's very little actual yakuza action in this.

Review 161: Renai no Skill

Art: 8
Plot: 8
Characters: 8
Sex: 7

This is a rather lengthy series, so I will just be summarizing the first book. Yuuki and Fujimiya are pseudo-rivals who pretend to be friends, both perfect figures in their company. When Yuuki leaves for an oversees mission (?) he entrusts Fujimiya with the job of looking after his lover, Takahashi, who joins their company with a thirst to prove himself. Unfortunately, Takahashi is from a poor background and knows very little of the business world, so Fujimiya becomes his mentor.

At some point Yuuki returns, and seeing Fujimiya's fondness for Takahashi, gets protective. Fujimiya goes all emo and starts overworking himself, only to realize soon after - with Takahashi's help - that he's really a lot better adjusted than Yuuki, who hides from his problems. When Takahashi gets cornered, stripped, and photo'd by some of the other company men because they're jealous of his closeness to Yuuki, it is Fujimiya who both rescues him and deals with the men later. Fujimiya resigns as a result of using violence against other employees, telling Yuuki that he still intends to be his rival in the future.

The art is good, the plot interesting and not terribly messy, the characters honest, etcetera. The sex is rushed and rough, lacking feeling, which is pretty sad. I was voting for Fujimiya to end up with Takahashi, because Yuuki seems to just use him for sex, and he barely talks to him.

31/40.

Recommendation: Businessman yaoi!

Review 160: My Fair Unlucky Boy

Art: 7
Plot: 7.5
Characters: 8
Sex: 5

All right, so the art wasn't spectacular, and the plot was kind of roundabout and never lingered anyway fun for very long. The characters were amusing and very likable, but the sex was only on a single page, and it was much too brief and vague to be interesting.

The plot begins with a young delinquent who goes on a gameshow where he is begging for a grant of money (supposedly to support his dream of a ramen restaurant). Instead, he is given $50,000 by a wealthy businessman who was only supposed to be visiting the program. He turns around and gives this money to his friends for their sister's illness. The businessman hunts him down, however, and takes him hostage as his 'pet' in return for the investment that vanished.

The difference here is that, instead of sexing it up with his 'pet', the businessman takes a much kinder approach to things. So begins the 'My Fair Lady' part of the story (hence the title) where the businessman educates him in manners and other helpful business-related things. Eventually the younger man is reunited with his father (the head of a large company) who had disowned him for his bad attitude and general uselessness. The businessman grudgingly decides to set him up with his father to get accepted back into the family and more-or-less have his life back. But the young man refuses, instead confessing his love for the businessman. And they live happily ever after or something.

27.5/40.

Recommendation: If you liked 'My Fair Lady'?

Review 159: Hoshigarimasen

Art: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 8
Sex: 8

This one was an interesting, and oddly realistic (as far as I know) portrayal of teenage romance in an all-boys high school. The two don't immediately jump into bed - first they go through all the required angsty, doubtful periods of time where they don't understand what the other is thinking. You know, high school. And even then, they don't sex it up right away. The nervous uke and understanding seme result in a waiting time in which they get more comfortable with each other. Moving, actually.

The characters are quite easy to sympathize with, especially the uke (whose perspective the story is told from). And the seme is adorably caring.

The art is pretty nice, and although the uke looks pretty feminine it isn't TOO obvious.

The sex, when it happens eventually, is kind of cute and amusing, the way first-time teenage sex ought to be portrayed (as opposed to rough-and-ready sex that doesn't make sense with the inexperience of first-timers).

31/40.

Recommendation: For those of you who like the high-school setting, or the cute couple.

Review 158: Mikansei

Art: 7.5
Plot: 6
Characters: 7
Sex: 7

This one was really a disappointment. I mean, it didn't exactly look like a keeper from the cover (handcuffs and knives, greeaaaat), but I expected it to be decent. The plot is something like the uke 'dumps' the seme, who he is living with, for some girl who asked him out. Then the uke comes back for dinner every night because he loves the seme's cooking. The seme is frustrated by this because he's obviously being used for used for food, but lets it slide because he's fallen for the uke.

Eventually the uke abruptly confesses that he can't stop thinking about the seme('s cooking) and decides to live with him again. Totally transparent if you ask me. He's obviously just in it for the food.

Art, decent but not out of the ordinary. Characters, close to realism but not in an enjoyable way. Sex, visually explicit but lacking a motivating closeness or any sort of positive feeling.

27.5/40.

Recommendation: Nah.

Review 157: Tsukigasa

Art: 7.5
Plot: 7
Characters: 8
Sex: 7

This one is just 'too much'. It's your typical 'admiration turns to romance' set during the samurai era, but the complications are rather indulgent. The main character, who looks very feminine, was raped by his uncle as a child. The memory is suppressed, but years later when his childhood friend/hero makes an advance on him, the memory springs up again and causes him to cut off the guy's arm. Yeah, samurai lovers are dangerous. Anyway, after this the seme leaves because of the arm thing, and he is picked up by a group of robbers.

The seme reenters the main character's life when he is ordered to rob his house, but instead gives a map of the robber group's hideouts to the main character's friend. He is ready to give himself up to the law, as he never really wanted to be a robber in the first place.

Then, as he is leaving to go plead guilty, the main character chases him down and offers him a short sword, saying 'do as you wish', with the implication that the seme can cut off his arm in revenge. But since 'an eye for an eye leaves everyone blind', the seme takes these words to mean something sexual, and cuts down the middle of the main character's clothing.

Then he says this:

"I'm already at my limit." Please never fall for this line. It's friggin' ridiculous. Blue balls or not, a companion is not required and saying something like this is a big fat lie.

Anyway, the sex is all right but kind of 'ehhh' after all that drama leading up to it. It isn't explicit, which is tasteful for this manga. But it's also more comical than most, so... possibly a point off.

The art is pretty nice but not quite as polished as I've come to expect.

The characters, unlike you'd guess from the plot summary, are actually really good. Their motives are defined, personalities make sense, and all that good stuff. I like the main character's hotheadedness and his kindness, he makes for a well-rounded uke (not like that).

All in all, 29.5/40.

Recommendation: If you like the samurai love. Or stubborn ukes.

Review 156: Punch Drunk Babies

Art: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 8
Sex: 7

This one's about an aspiring boxer who meets a guy who trained himself to box so he could use it as self-defense (he's pretty). The aspiring boxer takes in the other guy because he made him lose his job (it was an accident involving sushi). The art is good, the plot is... different... the characters are good, though, and the sex is all right. Even if it has nothing to do with the main characters the first time.

Overall, 30/40.

Recommendation: If you like boxing.

Review 155: Zetsuai and Bronze

Art: 6
Plot: 5
Characters: 7
Sex: 5

This one's confusing, and it's also from the 80's. Some famous singer guy passes out on a street and is taken in by a brother and sister who he somehow had played soccer with in elementary school. But the singer has no memory of his life besides soccer, and all he wants to do is play soccer. Eventually he develops feelings for the guy taking care of him, along with all of the other complicated messes going on.

Art's not to my liking, plot is intricate in a bad way, characters are difficult to distinguish due to the art (no idea who's who half the time), and the sex doesn't happen until over a hundred pages in, which is what we like to call shounen-ai most of the time.

Today's lesson: yaoi = sex before the fiftieth page
shounen-ai + yaoi = sex after the fiftieth page
shounen-ai = no sex

Overall, 23/40.

Recommendation: Never!

Review 154: Detective Bluecat

Art: 7
Plot: 5
Characters: 7
Sex: 5

This one is about a wealthy man, Aoneko, who indulges in unofficial detective work for fun. He is opposed by Hachiouji, an actual detective, as well as many other criminals and adversaries. Unfortunately, the translation of this manga is terrible, and it attempts to directly translate Japanese names into their literal meanings - point being, it's nearly impossible to read without an eyebrow twitching. Anyway, Aoneko gets himself into all sorts of trouble and has many sordid, scandalous nights which are considered deviant in this time period (probably around the 20's). Unfortunately, one of the lengthy flashbacks concerns incest with Aoneko and his uncle.

The art isn't anything to shout about, the plot is confusing and ridiculous, the characters are difficult to understand, and the sex is pretty bla and predictable.

Overall, 24/40.

Recommendation: If you like detectives. MAYBE.

Review 153: Rising Storm

Art: 6
Plot: 6
Characters: 6
Sex: 6

I was not impressed with this one. A Japanese youth goes to a guy's mansion to take care of his horses (for reasons TOO ridiculous to be stated here) and the wealthy guy falls for him. Unfortunately, when the uke is in the house he tends to accidentally break priceless vases. For every artifact broken, the seme inflicts some sort of ass-related punishment. This starts with spankings and goes alllll the way. To all the way. You know.

The art I disliked, especially in the sex scenes. It always looked awkward and inelegant. The plot is obviously bad, the characters flat and just plain weird, and the sex worse.

The only good thing that came out of this was one priceless line:
"If you get lost in these woods, you won't find your way back. There's a weak magnetic field here that makes it very dangerous."

Overall, 24/40.

Recommendation: If you think that plot sounds entertaining.

Review 152: Dear Green

Art: 8
Plot: 6
Characters: 7
Sex: 6

This one's different, but in an uninteresting way. The two are lovers when the story starts, and the plot has to do with how they're going to tell their best female friend from high-school days. She was actually the girlfriend of one of the guys before (he realized his sexuality?), which makes things complicated. But it all turns out all right, except that the sex doesn't happen for a long, long time.

Overall, 27/40.

Recommendation: Not really.

Review 151: Your Feelings

Art: 9
Plot: 6
Characters: 6
Sex: 6

Okay, another 'childhood friend' cliche plus the old 'must not let him know I like him or we can't be friends' dilemma. This culminates in an extraordinarily swift realization that they like each other, which rushes into the sex scene without any hesitation. I think I speak for many when I say... what? Somehow I don't imagine virgin guys, who have never even kissed before, randomly sexing it up (okay, so maybe I'm wrong, but it still should have hurt the poor uke more than it did).

Overall, 27/40.

Recommendation: Nah, breh.

Review 150: Vibrator Company

Art: 7
Plot: 5
Characters: 5
Sex: 5

This one sounds a lot more interesting than it is. Basically, one guy invites his childhood friend over for a New Years' party at his family's bathhouse. But he doesn't invite anyone else. As the clock strikes midnight, the guy proclaims 'New Years' sex!' and there's a sloppy, ridiculous, almost entertaining sex scene in the bath. Almost entertaining.

I think I can call 'nuff said at this point.

22/40.

Recommendation: If you're insane in the membrane.

Review 149: Countless Time

Art: 7
Plot: 7
Characters: 8
Sex: 8

Makoto Tateno strikes again, this time with a yakuza-filled dystopian... wait, isn't that just like Steal Moon? Okay, okay, so this one is different. This time, we have a yakuza boss and a guy who wants to be a bodyguard for him (in order to find out who killed his wife and took her ring). But it turns out that the yakuza boss doesn't have the ring after all, and yet... the bodyguard falls for the yakuza boss. Of course. There's a lot of other stuff about the rival yakuza group, some kind of supercomputer, and weird futuristic shenanigans (also like Steal Moon).

At least the characters aren't bad, and the sex is all right. The art isn't as good as Tateno's other works, though, if I have to judge.

Overall, 30/40.

Recommendation: If you liked Steal Moon.